Expectations never lead anywhere good

Expectations. We all have them, but what do they get us? I know for me, they really only lead to disappointments. It’s hard to get out of that mood, too, when you are disappointed over something trivial only you expected. Perhaps the other person had other plans. Perhaps the other person didn’t know what you were thinking and expecting and consequently, ended up hurting you totally by accident.

Though I’ve worked on not having any expectations, sometimes they just happen. It can be something so ridiculous as expecting a night at home but plans changing, or expecting a PR but not working hard enough to get it. You could even expect something and unfortunately, plans had to change.


I think it’s ok to be upset when your expectations lead to disappointments. However, I think we need to learn from those and quit making expectations. I’ve been working on it, and the other day happened to be one day where I expected something that totally didn’t happen. After thinking back, and realizing how ridiculous it was anyway, I thought about how far I’ve come in not needing plans all the time and working on going with the flow. Having one day of expecting things, being disappointed, and dealing with it, I realized that it’s been few and far between days like this. That’s what life is all about. Instead of continuing in the same ways, we need to learn from them. Practice days without expectations. It may be hard at first, but it will get easier. If a day of disappointment happens, learn from it and next time, don’t expect anything.

Remember, life happens. We aren’t perfect, and have no reason to ever pretend we are. Keep living your life, and learning from it.

Have you had to deal with expectations leading to disappointment?

How are you on going with the flow?

 photo 257fe27f-f473-44c9-95ef-2343388e011d_zps56c39fcb.jpg


  1. I like the idea of expecting little but appreciating everything. I think that the key to life ultimately lies in appreciation–learning to appreciate both the “good” and “bad” for the opportunities and lessons they provide is a hard pill to swallow, but it opens you up to greater happiness and greater success.
    Susie @ Suzlyfe recently posted…Sweet and Savory Recovery Oatmeal (Gluten + Dairy Free)My Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Absolutely! It’s hard to appreciate the bad when it happens. However, I know so many times that I can look back on and see that what was awful that moment, turned out to be great for me.

  2. Yep, I am right there with you Heather. That is alllllllll about my no time setting marathon post. I am trying my best not to have expectations, as you are right, where do they get us? Especially if we are comparing to the past rather than living in the now. Thanks for this, I need a reminder often right now. Make the most of each day, thats all we can do 🙂
    Tina Muir recently posted…25 Must Have Items for Race Day- An Elite GuideMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Glad this touched you today 😉 Racing definitely has expectations aligned with it- even if not for you, for others coaching you and watching. I think it’s great you are living in the now and throwing the expectations out the window!

  3. Oh gosh, I need to read this 10 times through because I tend to have high expectations for everything and everyone. I like to think of it as hopeful optimism, but you’re right that the disappointment part sucks.
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs for Food recently posted…Taco salad and a pumpkin spice latteMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      YESS!! I used to think of it as hopeful optimism as well. It’s unfortunate that it doesn’t happen like we want, but better things can follow!

  4. I am slowly getting better at going with the flow. An example being when my bf says he might get a weekend off work to come see me, I unfortunately cant count on it because his work schedule can change in a minute and suddenly he is needed. However it is the best surprise when he does show up and we have a night together.
    Alicia K recently posted…Never RushMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Isn’t that the worst?! I remember that in college. My bf (husband now) would make plans for weekends with me, but huge projects or tests sometimes prevented them, and it was the worst weekend, but only because I let it be. You are doing a great job of going with the flow, and that excitement when he can come makes it even better!

  5. Expectations and the inevitable disappointment that comes along with them used to take away SO much of my happiness. I wasn’t able to see that things were still good even if they didn’t work out according to the image I had in my head, just because I was stuck focusing on what was -supposed- to be, but wasn’t. I definitely think that an attitude of appreciation is the way to go.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. WIAW… when i’m tired .My Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      I know I spent too many days upset over what should have happened and missed out on the great opportunities in front of me.

  6. I really needed to read this right now. Lately, I have been expecting a lot out of my job and I continue to be disappointed. I have unfortunately fallen into the trap of thinking that if I expect more and more than it will somehow deliver. But it obviously only continues to disappoint me even greater then. As dumb as it sounds, I haven’t really been thinking that I should stop expecting so much from my job. That would obviously save me from a lot of stress!
    Melissa @ Freeing Imperfections recently posted…WIAW: Weekend EatsMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Oh girl, I am right there with you in the job department. Everytime I get a new lead, or expect something, it crushes me when it doesn’t happen. I remember this summer going into an interview for a teaching position, and the principal totally made me feel like I rocked it and had the job with the questions he was asking. I, obviously, built it up so much and then was crushed to see I didn’t get it. However, I had other job interviews where I pretty much came out thinking less of it (even though I still thought it was a good interview) and downplayed it just so I wouldn’t be disappointed, and it worked!

  7. Oh this is so true! Having less expectations is definitely something I’ve been working on. Most of the time when I did have high hopes for things, inevitably I was left disappointed because it didn’t go the way I had planned. Although, it’s easier said than done sometimes, going with the flow is much easier and leads to less disappointment.
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…Weeks 31-32 – A Few Bumps in the RoadMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Going with the flow can be SO hard to do at first, but as we work on it and continue to do it, it gets easier!

  8. i really need to let go of expecations. I am someone who sees the good.. beleives things will fall through & what not. lately, im telling with this “friend” who keeps tleling me were gonna hang out.. and then we don’t.. i try again with her cause she says she really wants too. nothing. i cant expect people to do certain things if they don’t meet half way? i really need to cut ties with her, i just see her at work and then its the same old thing.! I am totally gonna start being more aware when i should expect something. I hate let downs!
    cait @pieceofcait recently posted…Pumpkin Banana Pancakes { with yummy add ins + toppings! }My Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      Ahh sounds like my life, indeed! I absolutely understand this. It’s really hard to cut ties, but sometimes it is hurting us even more. For instance, your “friend” might not even know she’s hurting you and doing this to you, when in fact, it’s causing you more pain over it!

  9. You know I can relate to this post. I’m horrible with expectations. I set them really high and then I’m setting myself up for disappointment. I’ve found that I’m happier when I don’t set any expectations at all and it seems to be working out much better that way!
    Sarah @pickyrunner recently posted…Run to Remember 5k (21:51)My Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      I Knew you would relate! It’s funny that things always manage to work out for the best when we quit expecting, right?!

  10. Ahhhh!! Dear expectations please go away! The feeling you get when you don’t expect something and it happens is that good, that I definitely need to stop creating them! You can’t expect people to think the same because we are all different and that is the best part of being human…
    Elsie @ Sharing Healthiness recently posted…Time to Switch Up Your Workouts: 4 Crazy IdeasMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      That feeling is amazing, let me tell you. It’s honestly not worth the stress that expectations bring! I have found that I expect different things from our relationship with my husband, just plans and what not, but never tell him. I think he knows it (uh how can he really read my mind?!) and yet when they don’t happen, I get mad at him?! I actually just said last night we need to go on a date this weekend and told him what I wanted. That’s the only way things will for sure happen!

  11. Going with the flow definitely isn’t my strong suit. And since I like plans, I still make them, but if everything doesn’t go as planned, then I just let it go and tell myself this is how it was meant to be :). The Boyfriend has definitely helped me with this a lot hahaha he’s very easy going.
    Chelsea @ A Fit LittleOne recently posted…The Benefits of Coconut OilMy Profile

  12. I have a love/hate relationship with expectations. Sometimes I purposely set mine kinda low, so that I come away impressed and not disappointed : )
    Stacie @ SimplySouthernStacie recently posted…WIAW + Shakeology and PiYo UpdateMy Profile

  13. Such a great post! I think that sometimes when we stop expecting things, the things we need to happen actually come into our lives in beautiful and unexpected ways. Have a wonderful day!

  14. Great advice. I’ve had to learn to make my wants and needs known to those I care for the most instead of quietly assuming and then getting hurt because I didn’t voice my expectations.

  15. I totally get this and I love your quote. It’s hard for me not be disappointed when things don’t turn out the way I expect them too.
    With that being said, I don’t think it is wrong to dream big and set big goals, even if they come with high expectations. Even if you fall a bit short, at least you tried. You just have to figure out a balance. I’m still working on it too.
    Julie @ Running in a Skirt recently posted…5 Ways to Score a Deal on Workout ClothesMy Profile

    • Fit N Cookies says:

      I think there is a time and place for setting high expectations. I know I set such high expectations for myself in school, and it led to more stress and other issues that shouldn’t have happened. I am for sure with you on setting big goals, but that’s different than expecting things in your every day life, especially if they aren’t communicated to others whom you are expecting something from. Make sense?

  16. Always words to live by. None of us are perfect.
    Lauren @ The Bikini Experiment recently posted…WIAW #10: Repeating FavoritesMy Profile


  1. […] For… Learning Lessons I really resonated with this post about expectations and disappointments. I’m one of those people who easily dreams of the […]

  2. […] both here and on other blogs. For example, I LOVED Urs‘ post on choosing to be happy, Heather’s, Katie’s, and please forgive me, my friends, for the others that I am not mentioning. But for […]